this is not a new year's resolution

just got my sem results today. didn't do well. oh wells. pretty shows the importance of the amount of effort made.

my dream gpa of 4.5 seems so far. but i must get to it. i will work harder next year and the years to come, in order to make my dream come true.

this is NOT a new year's resolution. cause i know they are often broken. but hey, my resolution to not club again still stayed intact though. congrats to me. haha.

how i wish i'm born a mugger. even though i hate them. out of jealousy i guess. i can never have their determination. MUGGERS and M-WANNABES FTW

it still hurts

a few mins ago, i heard my sis sniffing away in the studyroom. i felt really sad and useless because she asked me a simple question a moment before that which i failed to answer coherently. the answer that i wanted to give her and she wanted are so similar and simple. yet i can't open my big mouth to say it. wtf.

my heart ache for her like i can never imagine. i can't say i'm really that close to my sis. but she is afterall my blood sister who has played an important role in my life. i simply cannot imagine my life without her. due to the huge age gap, when people asked me how is it to have such an older sis, i simply replied 'it's as annoying as having another mum'. but deep in my heart, i can tell that no one, not even my mum, can replace her.

i often have trouble expressing my feelings. i'm also too egoistic to show my appreciation for her. and right now, she is feeling sad and i'm at lost as to how to console her.

i have never hated my low eq this much until now. i tend to act nonchalant to everything that's happening around me. not because i really don't care, but simply because i don't know how to show it. even though i act like i don't give a damn, it still hurts.

wheee... last paper

last paper today. wahaha... i felt burden on my shoulder which i didn't know i had lifted. life is good again.

anyway, so after the paper, blah blah had plans to go out with the class... and as usual discussed for a looong time and soon turned out we would just have lunch.

then after that met deb karen and shuhui. many people are not invited because of uh hmmm... some reason. i wouldn't have turned up too if not for some fateful phonecall.

but long story short, enjoyed myself today. talked a lot of crap that i had stored up inside while i was in ntu. still doesn't feel right there. sighs. and i didn't realise how much i miss my friends till i finally met a few of them today. and we also made many plans for lunch bunch outings... woohoo.

turn out i'm not going to work afterall. nah...

oh yeah, i also met laurel and yijing finally today! at JP. oh my... how i miss them too. i got the feeling of nostalgia when we started talking again. what's life without reminiscence and something to pull us back to ground when we are flying too high. i have no idea.

as shown, i can't express myself coherently. so in short, tata~