long haitus

it has been a long time since i ever updated this blog. i thought it would never happen though. but anyway i have this song stuck in my head at the moment. the weirdest song at the weirdest time of the year.

carol of the bells.

for me, it's a very unique xmas song composed by an ukrainian. i have yet found the nicest version of this song by various choir.

but anw, here it is.

starting of sem2

it has been 2 weeks since the beginning of my yr1 sem2 and things are not looking good. so far i have only gone to ntu for 3 days, including today and attended lec for the first time today as well.

hhaha.what can i say. i'm kind of feeling high and delirious for some unknown reason. probably because my school week has already ended (self declared 2 free days) and my worries surrounding my curriculum, with the exchange prog to squeeze in, have driven me insane.

i had a fun day today in school. with all my classmates like lx, jy and my fave ding dong wang. seriously i don't know how my uni days would have been like without them to add a spritzer of insanity into my life. even though we don't really hang out much outside of school, life has been better with them.

and i'm seriously looking forward to my usa trip. i hope for the best, memorable experiences of my life be it good or bad.

i also really hope to be able to get into instep hkust with my friend for one of the sems. life will really rock then.

this is not a new year's resolution

just got my sem results today. didn't do well. oh wells. pretty shows the importance of the amount of effort made.

my dream gpa of 4.5 seems so far. but i must get to it. i will work harder next year and the years to come, in order to make my dream come true.

this is NOT a new year's resolution. cause i know they are often broken. but hey, my resolution to not club again still stayed intact though. congrats to me. haha.

how i wish i'm born a mugger. even though i hate them. out of jealousy i guess. i can never have their determination. MUGGERS and M-WANNABES FTW

it still hurts

a few mins ago, i heard my sis sniffing away in the studyroom. i felt really sad and useless because she asked me a simple question a moment before that which i failed to answer coherently. the answer that i wanted to give her and she wanted are so similar and simple. yet i can't open my big mouth to say it. wtf.

my heart ache for her like i can never imagine. i can't say i'm really that close to my sis. but she is afterall my blood sister who has played an important role in my life. i simply cannot imagine my life without her. due to the huge age gap, when people asked me how is it to have such an older sis, i simply replied 'it's as annoying as having another mum'. but deep in my heart, i can tell that no one, not even my mum, can replace her.

i often have trouble expressing my feelings. i'm also too egoistic to show my appreciation for her. and right now, she is feeling sad and i'm at lost as to how to console her.

i have never hated my low eq this much until now. i tend to act nonchalant to everything that's happening around me. not because i really don't care, but simply because i don't know how to show it. even though i act like i don't give a damn, it still hurts.

wheee... last paper

last paper today. wahaha... i felt burden on my shoulder which i didn't know i had lifted. life is good again.

anyway, so after the paper, blah blah had plans to go out with the class... and as usual discussed for a looong time and soon turned out we would just have lunch.

then after that met deb karen and shuhui. many people are not invited because of uh hmmm... some reason. i wouldn't have turned up too if not for some fateful phonecall.

but long story short, enjoyed myself today. talked a lot of crap that i had stored up inside while i was in ntu. still doesn't feel right there. sighs. and i didn't realise how much i miss my friends till i finally met a few of them today. and we also made many plans for lunch bunch outings... woohoo.

turn out i'm not going to work afterall. nah...

oh yeah, i also met laurel and yijing finally today! at JP. oh my... how i miss them too. i got the feeling of nostalgia when we started talking again. what's life without reminiscence and something to pull us back to ground when we are flying too high. i have no idea.

as shown, i can't express myself coherently. so in short, tata~

puke

you make me sick.

i'm getting sick of life. as it spirals down the abyss.

and i know what people may be thinking. i'm only 19. not even an adult yet. who am i to say that.

it's true. i'm too young to be lamenting about life. but i felt like i have seen enough of this world.

ironic and weird. i know.

rumours has it that the judgement day is coming in 2012. and i can't say that i'm dreading it.

but nah. i'm sure billions of people will be praying that it will not happen.

i look forward to the day when i have too much in my life to be able to give up my life anytime.

i look forward to the day when i have zest everyday in everything that i do.

i look forward to the day when i finally learn to appreciate every smidgen of my life.

i look forward to the day when i'm enjoying too much.

i look forward to the day when i can look back at this moment and this post, laugh at myself for what a fool am i to get sick of life when mine has not even started.

queen saves the day

listening to queen today. 'i'm just a poor boy. nobody loves me. he's just a poor boy. from a poor family... bismillah!'

nostalgia~ the feeling of jc days just came racing back in my mind. 'don't stop me now!'

feeling kinda high. which explains my incoherence. i think i shld go make myself a drink to celebrate this moment.

'she spoke just a baronette...dynamite with a laser beam. guaranteed to blow your mind.'

tata~