i know i haven't blogged for a long time and i can feel that this blog is really going to die soon. well not that anyone cares... but anyway, i really feel that my life sucks.
i'm not going to go on rambling and grumbling and feeling sorry for myself because it's not going to help. but i just cannot help it. i suddenly realised i feel sorry for myself all the time. (what a loser -.-) it's sometimes therapeutic to do so i suppose when you feel the WORLD has let you down or life is especially unfair to you (but sorry... that's never what actually happened). you know it yourself that this is not the way to cope with your depression but you keep getting stuck in this state. there's a big gap between knowing something and actually doing it. but anyway life has to go on. so what if the world crashes down on you.
so yesterday i was slightly depressed with my results; feeling i'm the biggest loser in the whole wide world; feeling i'm just going to end up as a road sweeper (no offense to the road sweeping profession)... that early morning i really had the intention to bake something. then i was so overwhelmed with all the negative thoughts that i was afraid that i would fail the baking as well. (when baking is supposed to be my only forte). but later on at night at about 10 pm, i finally got over the "i'm such a loser" phase to the "that's life..." phase and decided to bake again. the more so i must bake because my original plan was to give yvette part i of her birthday present. (sorry yv, i wanted to make some handicraft... but it kind of screwed. since i can use my fingers as well as i can use my toes. so i decided to give you something that will not KILL or BLIND you) thus in the end i baked the easiest thing on earth - brownie in small cups for easier handling.
i kind of changed the recipe here and there. and added quite a bit of booze (kaulua actually). but i don't think anyone noticed. i use partially brown sugar which kind of changed the texture of the brownie into something more chewy. that's good i suppose. and i added this chunk of chocolate in the middle of each cup brownie(?). when the brownie came out of the oven, it looked and smelled great. in fact mouth watering (hehe... of course). after a short while when it had cooled slightly, the brownie short of collapse. (not so pretty anymore). it looked so unpresentable that i couldn't bear to take any photographs of it (nightmare~). but oh well. it looked homemade at least. and it TASTES NICE (i insist)... that's the most important thing.
another random thing... 'Tie Your Mother Down' is damn nice. (a song by queen of course). 'stone cold crazy' rocks too! i'm still trying to get my hands on the tracks though...
okay, enough crap for today. bye~
ps: yv, i'm not sure when i can give if part ii, iii, iv... n of your present though. anyway, any suggestions for the next few parts?
family.
5 years ago
2 comments:
haha first to comment ! okay basically just wanted to tell you to try make urself feel less negative about thing happening around you/ to you?
not that i know much about the philosophies of life or wtv, but aft so many yrs on earth we shld all have realised tht life is tough yes, not just for you, but for everyone. so we gotta learn to deal with it, or we'll just make those tough comings even tougher.
recently heard someone quote that (i'll quote that someone lol!) "most of the times, we're self-fulfilling prophets" haha and i'm koping it to be my pet phrase! i think it's so true and i've been trapped in my own states of confusions /depressions too. dun think im rlly out of it and dunno if i ever would, but i'm trying.
okay following tht phrase, we'll eventually end up as what we think of ourselves. careful, haha stop thinking that way or i'll really see you sweeping the roads 10 yrs ltr!
so how about having a little more faith in yourself, and not take things so hard. it's our lives whether we like it or not!
anywanyw, on a brighter note haha. yv's rlly lucky to have a friend who's so committed to the friendship haha i can see how much effort's putting in to wish her a happy birthday! they always say it's the thought that counts? and i think those pres come with lots of that =)
hello dear friend!
now that i know how much effort you've put into birthday present part i, i am triply touched! and it was really really delicious, i loved that chunk of chocolate in the middle. i hope you'll find your bearing again soon, and i'm sure you'll pull through this difficult time! (: btw, once i'm able to get access to youtube i promise i'll get those tracks for you!
YV
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